See I'm Smiling
by horxruxes
Summary: Dean x Reader based on the song, See I'm Smiling from the musical The Last Five Years by Jason Robert Brown. You and Dean have a history that you can't seem to get away from


You walked into the bunker's library carrying two mugs of strongly caffeinated coffee. There would be no sleeping tonight for you, if Sam and Dean had to stay up late doing research you'd be right there with them.

Dean looked up and smiled once he saw you enter the room. He made your heart flutter and your skin prickle. God knows how long it had been since the two of you were together, but after seeing each other on that hunt last week you couldn't stop yourself from falling for him again.

"Gee, thanks for bringing me a cup," Sam said nonchalantly, glancing up from his lore book.

"Sorry I only have two hands." You snipped back jokingly.

You set one of the mugs in front of Dean who picked it up immediately took a grateful gulp of the steaming liquid. You looked down at him and smiled as you slid into the chair next him rubbing his shoulder gently. Dean leaned over and gave you a little peck on the cheek, which you returned on the corner of his mouth.

Feeling uncomfortable Sam got up, "I guess I'll have to make myself a cup then," he mumbled under his breath.

Once Sam was out of the room you placed your head on Dean's shoulder. "Dean, I'm surprised, I mean, the fact that we bumped into each other on the same case," You said quietly looking at the book he was immersed in.

Dean set the book down and wrapped his arms around you pressing you closer to him. "Me too Y/N, me too."

You laughed and pulled yourself out of Dean's strong arms, and grabbed his mug. "You still have this weird mug?" You asked incredulously.

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, didn't we get that thing in The Ozarks Welcome Center when we were hunting that Wendigo?"

You smiled remembering the hunting trip that brought the two of you closer before… You shook the bad memory approaching out of you head, and studied the mug. It had an ugly, yellow map of the National Park and a faded black circle made by a Sharpie. The circle encompassed the area where the Wendigo was. You had bought the mug for Dean, a token of how much the two of you had grown on that trip together.

"Listen, Y/N, I know we've had a…" Dean trailed off, looking down at his hands, "We had a rough patch, but I know we can move forward, you know."

You smiled, Dean wasn't one to share his thoughts on relationships, but when he did you could sense yourself falling farther in love with him.

"I know," You said back with a smile. You put a hand on his cheek and looked at him until he looked you in the eyes, "Let's not think about that. You're finally home and safe. Let's just enjoy tonight, okay?"

Dean smiled and leaned forward, placing a kiss on your lips. You kissed him back strongly before you pulled away. Dean held your face close to his until you gently rested your hands on his forearms, and he released his grip of the side of you face.

You reached across the table and grabbed a DVD case of _The Game of Thrones_. "I thought we could watch some of your favorite show, and leave the rest of the research to Sam. He wouldn't mind…" You trailed off with a quiet laugh.

You looked up and saw Dean watching you with a sad look in his eyes.

"What?" You asked faintly, your enthusiasm fading.

"Y/N, I'm sorry, but Sam and I are going back out tonight once we get the information we need…" he trailed off seeing the tears form in your eyes.

You swallowed thickly, blinking back tears, "Oh, if you have too, I mean, whatever." You turned away not wanting to see him as he hurt you again.

Dean placed his hand on your shoulders gently as he began to coax you, "Y/N, I'm sorry. You know how this life is…"

You pushed yourself out of the chair quickly and turned to face him, with on hot tear slowly sliding down you cheek. "You know what drives me insane? You could be here with me, together. Spending what little time we have, but instead you decide to rush back out to another hunt, without me." Your voice was rising as your anger grew.

"Y/N, please, if you want you can come with…" Dean pleaded before you cut him off.

"It's not about that Dean. You don't get it. You love the hunt more than anything or anyone else. That's obvious to me now. Why the hell couldn't I figure that out five years ago before you broke my heart, and now again when you're breaking it for a second time." You took a shaky breath, and heard your loud words ring through the library of the bunker.

Dean opened his mouth to protest, but you spoke before he could. "Dean Winchester! Saving the world! Saving damsels in distress! Hell, I know, I was one!" Your arms were flying as you yelled. "You never think about the people who love you. It's all about you, and what you do. And everyone has to deal with it cause you're _Dean Winchester_." You shouted, with your voice shaking when you yelled his name.

The tears were freely streaming down your face, and Dean was sitting in his chair silently watching you cry, unable to console you. You mind was made up, and he couldn't change that.

"I'll never understand," You began, your voice quiet, "You're just sitting there, unfazed. And see I'm crying, and not do anything at all."


End file.
